“Asparagus is a very helpful food if you struggle with shyness, self-consciousness, concern over what others think of you, fear of breaking out of your shell and exposing yourself, or dread of venturing out in public. If you truly need help in these areas (as opposed to if you’re just a natural introvert who’s comfortable with who are are despite other’s misguided opinions that you should act more like an extrovert), asparagus will come to your aid and give you the confidence to rise up and claim your place in the world.” — Anthony William